Letting Go
by Elfpen
Summary: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan go to pick up a Force-sensitive child. On the way back, Qui-Gon is faced with the fact that someday very soon, he will have to let Obi-Wan go.


**NOTE: This is the sequel to 'The Luckiest Man Alive'**

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A/N: This was randomly inspired by a talk I had with my mom a while back, when she said that I was growing up too fast, and how I would be an adult in only a few years. (Eesh. Scary thought.) Anyway, as a bit of an 'experiment' I tried to put myself in her shoes. (which, for the sake of fanfiction, ended up being Qui-Gon's shoes) It spun off to join with an idea that I had been playing with for a while, and this is the result.

Oh, and one more thing, this is only my second try at a first-person story. Please show mercy.

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I smiled as my apprentice and I boarded our ship. It had been nearly a month since he and I had been on a mission together, ever since the council started sending Obi-Wan on his first solo missions, which he had been going on more and more often. Now, reunited, we were being sent back out together on a different mission, even though he had just returned from the latest of his solo missions, which had been heavily political, from what I was told. Obi-Wan was turning out to be quite the negotiator. But, despite his developing skills, it took nearly three weeks for him to talk sense into the bureaucrats' heads, and he had just gotten back a few days ago.

The mission we were going on now was very different, though. In fact (much to Obi-Wan's relief) it had nothing to do with politics whatsoever. The council had sent us to pick up a newborn force-sensitive. Though he wouldn't have admitted it, with his 23-year-old stubbornness, Obi-Wan was clearly exhausted from his mission, and the council had decided to send us on a much calmer mission, one that, in the long run, didn't require too much effort. Of course, setting aside the 'easy' factor of the mission, both Obi-Wan and I knew that it was nonetheless very important. We were, after all, bringing in a new member of the Jedi family. So, off we were to the edge of the outer rim.

We now sat together in the ship, silently watching as stars whizzed past the large windows as they had been for nearly two hours. We were almost there, according to the pilot, and both Obi-Wan and I were now preparing ourselves for the mission. Through our bond, and could feel Obi-Wan's excitement. I smiled. My padawan had always been very fond of these sorts of missions. He and I had been on a handful of them together, and he always enjoyed seeing the young Jedi-to-be children. Part of why he enjoyed it so much, I thought, had to do with his extremely strong precognition sense. He often got 'feelings' about things. Children who had a promising future in the Jedi were often subject to such feelings.

I could clearly remember one time, years ago, when we had only been master and Padawan for about a year, and we were going to pick up a young baby girl from the planet of Alderaan. On our way back to Coruscant, Obi-Wan had looked at the baby for a long while, and afterwards had the most joyful, satisfied smile on his face. His eyes had given me the impression that he knew something that I didn't.

'What is it?' I had asked.

'Oh, nothing.' He had said, the knowing look in his eyes intensifying in a way that made him look much older than his fourteen years. 'Just a feeling.' He had said. He had then looked away from the child and I, the smile not leaving his face. Consequently, that same little girl, who was not _quite_ so little anymore, was slowly but surely growing up to be among the most promising of the younglings in the Jedi Order.

This kind of occurrence had happened more than once with my apprentice, and, if one was to watch the subject of Obi-Wan's 'feelings' long enough, one would most likely see things turn out just as Obi-Wan had anticipated. Why my apprentice was more attuned to young children, I did not know, but I couldn't help but be a bit jealous of the rare glimpses of the future that were granted to him. To see all of the possibilities and potentials of a young child must be amazing. He had tried to explain it to me, once, but I still fail to understand just how my padawan thinks all of the time.

As our destination neared in sight, it was these very insights that had Obi-Wan so exited. As I could so easily read on his face, he was wondering if anything would come of the child we were about to meet; if he would get a glimpse into their future. I barely held back a smirk as the ship came in for landing. Obi-Wan, though for reasons quite different than my own, enjoyed these types of assignments nearly as much as I did. Most Jedi his age, who were just learning how to go it alone, might have found a pick-up mission boring and dull, following through with it as a duty, not a joy. Obi-Wan, though, was acting quite the opposite as he tried valiantly to contain his excitement. He was on his feet before the doors even opened.

"Calm down, Obi-Wan." I warned him. "I don't think eagerness on your part will help the child's family very much." I said. He quickly and obediently composed himself. Though, I noticed, he still had a nearly imperceptible glint in his eyes. Obediently, he nodded his head.

"Yes, Master." He said, just as he had for the past ten years - though his voice was much deeper now than it had been when he was thirteen.

As the pilot led us out, Obi-Wan stayed put so that I could take the lead as Master. As I passed him, I quickly whispered in his ear, "You can get exited once we're back on the shuttle." Though I couldn't have been sure, I thought I heard him laugh quietly.

With Obi-Wan dutifully three steps behind me, we walked out to meet the parents and their child, who I knew without having to look, had caught Obi-Wan's eye.

As we went into their house to talk, I got the strangest feeling, as if history was going to repeat itself. But, I knew somehow, I would play a different role, this time.

Dismissing the strange feeling for the sake of duty, I sat the parents down, greeting them kindly. We then started on an hours-long conversation about the Jedi order; what it would hold for their child, and what it meant to be a Jedi.

No matter how many missions like this one I go on, and no matter how exiting they truly are, they will never cease to break my heart in two. The looks on the parents' faces, the sheer grief flowing off of them like a waterfall, makes me hurt for them. I always try my best to give them some comfort, whether by words or by means of the Force. But I know that nothing will ever replace the child they are giving up. As the mother says her last goodbyes and hands me her infant son, I take great care in handling him.

People, in general, view Jedi as heroes, as the ones who give up their lives for peace. But I think the real heroes are the parents who give up their children; their sons and daughters, knowing full well that they will most likely never see them again, so that they may learn to use the gifts given to them. As we started to say our goodbyes, I watched with a sad frown as husband tried to comfort wife, while Obi-Wan wore an expression similar to mine.

As we left, I could sense that Obi-Wan was doing what he could through the Force to comfort the parents that we were leaving behind. I smiled for a brief moment. For however action-oriented Obi-Wan could appear to be, he had a heart full of compassion and gentleness that always appeared at just the right time.

After a few quiet minutes of walking, we returned to the boarding dock, where we sat waiting for our ship to arrive. It was silent between us, and both Obi-Wan and I remained engaged in our own thoughts, until:

"Master Jinn?" I heard a sweet, mechanical voice. I looked up to see a silver droid rolling toward us, motioning to a ship that was just landing. Without much more than a nod, I let it know that we would be going in just a moment. Looking down at the tiny body in my lap, I gently re-adjusted the sleeping infant in my arms. I was about to rise, when I saw Obi-Wan's face out of the corner of my eye. I thought he had been looking at me, as if he wanted to ask me something, but, after following his thoughtful gaze, I found that he was looking – no, staring - at the child. I smirked.

"Obi-Wan, you can leave pondering the future for more appropriate times." I said teasingly, hoping to break his trance with my voice. My smile slowly faded when Obi-Wan didn't so much as blink. "Padawan?" I called, my voice turning serious. My brow creased as I examined his expression. Wonder… Confusion… Interest… The frown on my face deepened. I knew that look – it was one I remembered from my own past. For some reason, it made me uneasy to see it on my Padawan. "Obi-Wan!" I called sharply, suddenly. With a jerk, Obi-Wan blinked and looked up at me, as if I had splashed him with ice water. "We're leaving." I said. He nodded silently, trying to bring himself out of whatever trance he had fallen into.

I tried to knock any suspicion or worry out of my mind as we boarded the shuttle, this time bound for Coruscant. I was careful not to wake the slumbering child in my arms as the ship took off, but the small boy stirred anyway. His large, sage green eyes fluttered opened slowly, and he gazed up at me curiously. I smiled down at him as his small mouth stretched in a yawn. I looked up briefly to check Obi-Wan's expression. His brows were drawn together, and he was gazing once more at the child. I was smirking slightly when I spoke.

"What do you see for this little one, Padawan?" I asked him good-naturedly. I wasn't so serious, it was said jokingly. But Obi-Wan's expression didn't change, and he actually gave it considerate thought.

"I don't know." Obi-Wan said, confusion and a hint of curiosity crossing his face. My smile faded. My padawan was acting strangely. And now was one of those times when I, as master, would have to insist to know his thoughts and feelings.

"Obi-Wan, I…"

But of course, with the horrible timing that always seems to interrupt important conversations as these, the co-pilot came from the cockpit.

"Master Jedi? There's a transmission from the Temple – they asked to speak with you." The young man said. I sighed, forcing any irritation from my face, before rising to hand the child to Obi-Wan. He took the baby quickly, with immense care and gentleness, his eyes never leaving the small face. My stomach tightened into a knot when the little child looked back up at Obi-Wan with just as much curiosity. My heart started beating faster. Oh, dear Force. This was… Something. Something I had definitely not expected to happen.

As I headed to the cockpit, my stomach turned anxiously. Perhaps, I tried to tell myself, it was nothing. Perhaps it was just my imagination. Obi-Wan was just having a bit of trouble sorting this one out, that was all. He was simply intrigued. I tried to convince myself of that as I picked up the comm unit. With well-practiced control, I forced my voice into its normal calm, so that I could speak with the council member on the other line.

I don't recall too much of that conversation – my thoughts were much too preoccupied. The council, routine for pick-up missions, asked me a long list of questions, some rather basic, others that didn't seem to pertain to anything of particular significance. I answered them somewhat mechanically, my mind still with Obi-Wan and the small child. It was a relief when it was over. I sighed as I set the receiver down and went back to the deck where Obi-Wan and I had been staying. But I paused at the doorway when I caught sight of the scene before me.

Obi-Wan was sitting on one of the plush couches along the side of the ship, bent over the small boy who was situated in his arms. The two, both oblivious to my presence, were completely engrossed with one another. The sight was heartwarming, the way Obi-Wan treated the child with such care and affection, but it screamed with blatant familiarity at my memory – it was as if someone had taken a holo-image of me from my youth and pasted it before my eyes. But in the snapshot, instead of me being the one bending over the small infant, it was Obi-Wan. The two of us looked very different, yes, but there was one feature from the present that was identical to the past. Obi-Wan was looking at the child in the exact same way that I had looked at Obi-Wan when I had taken him back to Coruscant. It was portrayed in a way that told me quite clearly that my padawan was feeling a unique, extremely strong pull from the Force. A lump rose in my throat, because I knew what would probably follow this event.

After all, Obi-Wan and I were now Padawan and Master, weren't we? It was only logical to predict that these two would end up the same, or at least close to it.

A small part of me was ecstatic, completely overjoyed at this new revelation, that Obi-Wan might've gotten a glimpse of his own future, one that I had already experienced in my own life. I would be glad to see Obi-Wan enjoy the same kind of happiness that I received from having his companionship. But, at the same time, part of me wanted to scream: 'No! He's my padawan – my Obi-Wan!' That part wanted to keep things the way they were. I had the subconscious desire to judge every miniscule twitch that this boy made in his upcoming life, to see if he was even worthy of my padawan; to make sure Obi-Wan wouldn't get hurt. But as I listened to my own thoughts, realization slowly crept over me. I had no right to intrude on Obi-Wan's life that way. I was simply his guardian, his guide. And even that position, I realized with a sinking, horrified feeling, would soon be gone. Part of me was now screaming in protest. Could ten years possibly go by that quickly? Where had it all gone? Why did it have to end so soon? And dear Force, where had I been? Suddenly, I realized rather stupidly, Obi-Wan was grown up. In only a few short years, maybe even sooner than that, he would become the Jedi Knight that he had shaping up to be for years, and he wouldn't need me anymore. He would make his own decisions, lead his own life. He would grow to be a master, and would raise a padawan of his own. I then glanced pointedly over at the infant that he held now, giving in to a part of me that somehow knew what would happen. Obi-Wan would have his own cares and duties. It was then that my revelation dawned fully.

One day, very soon approaching, I would have to let go of Obi-Wan.

Yes, I had thought about it several times before, trying to prepare myself for the separation and change that was inevitable in such a relationship as ours, but I had never seen it so clearly in reality as I did now. Even now, with him still under my charge, things were changing. Obi-Wan, in a sense, had already taken off. I glanced back over at the pair inside the cabin. And, as it seemed, the future was already being unveiled for him.

I stood there at the doorway for the better part of a half hour, cooped up within my own thoughts. After the revelation subsided some, I concluded, with rather mixed-up emotions, that I had to accept the inevitable. In doing so, I would have to talk to Obi-Wan about it. With a soft sigh, I walked slowly through the door, my head slightly down, and when to sit by my Padawan.

"What is it, Padawan?" I asked him after a while, wondering briefly how much more time I had to call him by the title.

Obi-Wan looked up at me, his face bearing confusion. He sighed. "I don't know." He said honestly. "It's just this feeling…" He said. I hid my smile well. "About the child. It's very odd… Puzzling. To me, it feels like… Like…" He searched for the right words.

"Like the bond between the two of us." I finished for him. His face lit up.

"Yes," He said, "exactly! But-"

"But you and I have switched places, in a sense." I ended his sentence again. He looked at me, face alight.

"Exactly." He said. I suppose he was a bit surprised that I understood such a feeling so completely. It was then that I smiled, a bitter-sweet kind of understanding.

"I'm not unfamiliar with the feeling." I said softly, glancing down at the child for a moment, before looking back to Obi-Wan. He seemed confused for a moment.

"What do you mean, Master?" He asked me. I paused for a moment, and then looked him in the eye; not a hard glare, but just an honest gaze.

"I felt the same way when I met you – when I took you back to Coruscant." I said smoothly. I was a bit surprised at how calm my voice had sounded. Obi-Wan seemed just as surprised at my words. He paused, then – he was thinking, I could tell. Then, after a moment, his eyes widened ever so slightly as he caught the meaning of my words. He looked back at me, his face full of surprise.

"Master," He said, glancing at the small boy, then back to me, "You don't really think that…" He didn't finish his sentence. I shrugged, looking over at the child.

"It's possible." I said, looking back up to him. "The fact that you are my padawan bears testimony to the logic of it." I said. And then, "Though," I said, my voice lower, "You won't be my padawan for much longer." I said. His eyes then darted to meet mine, a shocked, slightly terrified look in his eyes. I could tell he was trying to dismiss my last remark. There was a brief, awkward silence before he spoke again.

"Master," He protested, motioning to the infant, "He's just a baby!" His voice was incredulous.

"Yes," I said evenly, "And yesterday, _you_ were just a baby that I was taking to Coruscant." I said, looking him in the eye. While the shocked look in his eyes didn't disappear, he seemed to understand my words. He turned his gaze away. I respectfully gave him the time to think. After a long silence, probably over half an hour, he spoke.

"Master?" He asked quietly.

"Yes, Padawan?" I answered, looking over at him. He didn't meet my eyes.

"Earlier… You said that I wouldn't be your padawan for very much longer." He stated.

"You are very near knighthood, Obi-Wan." I said, biting back the sadness that came from saying it, "Surely you know that."

"Well, I suppose I did." He said. "But… Do you really think I'm ready, master?" He asked honestly, looking up at me beseechingly.

And, after a moment, "Yes." I said confidently. He ducked his head.

"I don't think I am." He murmured quietly.

"Perhaps that tells me that you are, Obi-Wan." I said, waiting for him to meet my gaze. When he did, I let out a small sigh. "Obi-Wan, I've seen you grow in ways I thought impossible in these past ten years, Obi-Wan." I said. "You've learned how to be a true Jedi; and it's about to the point where I have nothing left to teach you." As I spoke, Obi-Wan's face was candidly shocked at my little 'speech', and he had seemingly forgotten to breath. "You'll leave to live your own life, to follow your own path. And it seems," I said, looking down at the boy in Obi-Wan's arms, "that that path is already unfolding itself." I told him softly, looking back up at him. His expression was slightly sad, and his brows were drawn together as he tried to process the whole thing. He looked down.

"Master, I…" He stared, avoiding my eyes, "I… Thank you, Master." He finally said. He looked up at me, then. "But the day will never come when I'll leave you, Master." He said with certainty. "I may be knighted one day, but I'll never leave you." His voice was firm.

"No," I agreed with him, "But you'll never be my padawan again." I said sadly. He paused.

"Well then," He said, his voice also quiet, "We'll remember these days and move on to whatever the future holds for us – together." He said. I smiled bitter-sweetly, and nodded in agreement. He smiled too, and he put his hand on my shoulder. I returned the gesture, and we looked at each other for a moment, silently conveying the mutual gratitude and friendship we shared, a friendship that was slowly shifting from the position of father and son to the position of brothers; of comrades.

It was then that a small cry, no, laugh, broke the silence. Both of our eyes shifted over to the small babe in Obi-Wan's arms, who was giggling gleefully as he played with the tuff of hair on Obi-Wan's braid. I smiled in distant recognition.

"You're very lucky, you know, Padawan." I said. "He's quite charming." I said, smiling. Still being quite skeptical of my foresight abilities, Obi-Wan started to make a protest against my words, but it was then that the co-pilot entered our cabin once more.

"We're just about to land, Master Jedi."

"Alright. "Thank you." I said. I rose from my seat and straightened out my robe.

"Come, Padawan." I said with a smirk, "Bring your little friend and let us be off."

He obediently followed me, three steps behind, still holding the small Jedi-to be nestled arms. I chuckled quietly to myself, wondering if Obi-Wan realized how carefully he handled the child; how obvious it was that he was already becoming attached. I smiled, wondering what the future would bring for the two of them. Though earlier that day I was more opposed to the idea, I was now looking forward to see what would happen with my padawan and this child.

As we headed towards the entrance of the Temple, I could see some of Obi-Wan's friends waiting for him. I turned to him to take the child from his arms.

"I looks like Bant and Garren want to speak with their friend." I said, eyeing the two. Obi-Wan smiled at the two. "Say your goodbyes, and I'll take him to the crèche." I said. Obi-Wan seemed slightly distraught at the prospect, and I chuckled. "You know you can visit him, Obi-Wan." I reassured him. Though quite reluctantly, Obi-Wan handed me the child, and continued on to meet his friends. I smiled down at the boy in my arms. Now that his newest friend had left, he was settling down to sleep. I tucked his blankets around him and started to the crèche. Once there, helped Liam, the crèche master and my good friend, file out some forms and data sheets for the youngling.

"How old is he?" He asked.

"About six months." I told him, and then laughed. "He might be a repeat of when Obi-Wan came here." I said. Liam, being only a year or two older than myself, had been here when Obi-Wan came to the temple; when I had been so attached to him. Liam smirked knowingly.

"What, another apprentice, Qui-Gon?" He asked teasingly.

"Yes, but not for me." I said. Liam stopped what he was doing and glanced over at me.

"Oh really?" He asked, surprised. "Who, then?"

"Obi-Wan."

Liam raised his eyebrows. "Really?" He asked after a minute of thought, eyeing the small infant in my arms. I could feel his excitement rippling just beneath his Jedi calm.

"Something like that." I said, my voice far-off sounding as I pondered the future. It wasn't something I was used to doing. Liam smiled.

"You can put him to bed, if you like." He said. "Number twenty-six." He informed me as the baby yawned.

"Thank you, Liam."

"Anytime, Qui-Gon." He said, watching the two of us as I walked off.

I wasn't in any hurry as carried the small baby to his bed, since there really wasn't anyone around. It was napping hour for the smallest residence of the Temple.

"You're very lucky too, you know." I told the little being, who looked up at me with interest. "Almost as lucky as I am." I said, smiling as I reached his bed. I set him down, staying for a moment. "You have to promise me though," I instructed him as he looked up at me intelligently, "that you'll look after him. Force knows how troublesome he can be." At my words, the baby giggled. I smiled. "I'm not normally one for predicting the future, but I know that he'll love you very much." I said. There was a pause, and the boy was nearly asleep by the time I spoke again. "I really don't want to let him go, you know." I said. "But he'll definitely be happy." I was talking more to myself, now, as the infant was quite peacefully asleep. I touched the small face gingerly. "We all will be."

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A/N: Well, there you are. I'm not completely happy with it - I feel that it's really rushed, and a bit… Messy, but I'll see what you think.

Oh, and the idea I was talking about? That would be a VERY AU scenario where TPM never happened, Qui-Gon is alive, and Obi-Wan takes on a padawan who isn't named skywalker. But Palpatine is still out there, and he's interested in Obi-Wan becoming his apprentice… Anyhow, it's just an idea I've been toying with. This little vig would be a bit of a prologue to that.

Hope you enjoyed it!


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